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After working with many men in strained or stuck marriages.

 I Noticed A Pattern. 

The men who changed the direction of their relationships weren’t becoming more forceful, and they weren’t disappearing into accommodation either. Most had already tried the obvious approaches: being more flexible, planning dates, reading the books, going to therapy.

What made the difference was quieter than that, and more profound.

They began to see that the issue wasn’t effort or intention. It was orientation. How they showed up inside the relationship, especially when things felt uncertain, tense, or emotionally charged.

Many of these men grew up with mixed expectations about masculinity. Be capable. Hold things together. Don’t create problems. Handle it yourself. Those messages can work well at work. In intimate relationships, they often create confusion about how to stay engaged without controlling or withdrawing.

The men who find their footing here aren’t following a script or adopting a new persona. They’re learning how to take responsibility inside the dynamic while maintaining self-respect and emotional responsibility at the same time.

I’ve spent years studying how that works, why it works, and how to teach it clearly.

Why does this feel so confusing? Because most men were never shown how to build a strong marriage. They were told to be strong and expected to figure the rest out on their own. Growing up, the messages were mixed. Be confident. Take charge. Don’t look weak. At the same time, don’t be needy, don’t push too hard, don’t make things worse. In adult relationships, those messages collide, and it becomes hard to tell what healthy engagement actually looks like.

 

 You Were Told to Be a Better Husband, But Never Shown What That Means

 

Communicate better. Stay regulated. Take initiative. Be romantic. Give her space. Be more open (but not too much). The rules keep changing, and none of them come with a clear way to tell what actually helps. Most men end up guessing, trying one thing and then another, watching reactions closely and hoping they’re reading things right.

 

 What I Focus on Instead

 

I’m here to teach something more grounded than rules or tactics. The work is about understanding what actually builds trust and connection over time and learning how to act from that understanding consistently. It starts when you decide to stop guessing and start working with a clearer frame; not forcing outcomes, not disappearing to keep the peace, but acting with intention inside the moments that matter. If you’re tired of mixed signals and walking on eggshells, this is a place to begin. You can read through the training and decide if it’s the right next step for you.

 

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How To Save Your Marriage, Prevent Divorce, And Develop A Better Relationship With Your Wife Than You've Ever Had In Your Life

 

 I've Made A Free 40-minute Video Where I'm Teaching Men Exactly What They Need To Do To Turn Their Marriages Around, Avoid Divorce, And Use Healthy Masculinity To Build More Connected, Stronger Than Ever Relationships With Their Wives.

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If You're Wondering Where I'm Coming From

Here’s the background that informs how I think about this work:

I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist, and over the years I’ve spent a lot of time working with men in strained or stuck relationships.

I also have a background in sociology, which has shaped how I notice the expectations men grow up with, and how those expectations show up inside intimate relationships.

This approach has been shaped by staying close to real situations over time: my own marriage, raising two kids, and years of watching how men respond when relationships feel tense, uncertain, or stuck.

I’ve been married since 2009, and like most people, I’m still learning what it takes to build connection that holds up under everyday pressure.

The framework I teach came from paying attention over time, noticing what helped men stay engaged without losing themselves and letting go of what consistently didn’t.

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